blushes

the poltergeist is alive

night runs me into the past of beige
carpet, into the past floor where
i belong, i cannot grasp anything
the only thing is my two feet!
my two feet between the rails
of my crib. what scares me the most
are forms in the dark. it's here,
the yellowed white lights from cars dancing
along dark gray walls,
monsters hurl me into the face.
there is nothing here there is nothing here there
is nothing. i was taught to look at white after dark.
i fear it and its iron black bleeding quality,
a bleed out into the deepest depths
of all that is child, of all that is leaving me nothing so soon.
if i cry the black hole of the night will open my window.
my mind has left me there is nothing here.
i'd rather womb it i'd rather crib it
i'd rather watch the night lamp turn on for me,
like a ghost of my own mind.