blushes

Cut corners and created my own notebook out of junk.

I guess I have no excuse this time besides the fact that I hate to be a part of a group of people, or anything, for that matter. I do not receive the warm feeling of, "being a part." Well, that is unless I think about the fact that me and my cats work well as a group but that doesn't count.

All of my negative traits? Just about equally as positive. And well, I'm not about to look on the negative aspect of them these days. That's old news. I've got that well and clear, and I don't give a shit. If the world doesn't like my cooking or the heat in my kitchen they can go find another. But if they want my cooking I can certainly say that it will be worth the enduring of my heat. Things are baked heavily for a reason.

This blog is full of cliches and I have to get them out somewhere, eh? Like I have said before, this isn't a diamond of anything. Bloggery is like the junk of literature 80% of the time. You find something good, you find the news, but that is about it.

Life has been entirely too surreal for its own good as of late. I don't know how to interact with it because it's taking courage just to be honest. All of the things I have been keeping secret are just dumping out all over the place. I haven't felt this way in awhile, but if it doesn't bother me, I am going to quit pretending. I've been doing this, talking to this person, thinking these things and hiding in this cave of my subconscious for too long now. It's exhausting playing a different role than reality. (One's real life is often the life that one does not live"-Wilde) The freedom of my own place again has opened up a human being I forgot was functioning anymore.

Some days I don't have to worry, though. I have expectation repellent and clique repellent. I don't give a damn about it, either. I just need to get through this year. I'm past the discoveries. I just want to fucking play. I want to doooo.