Turn off the TV. Close the fashion mags. Ideal body inspiration, go!

distance disease

I am sick from all this distance. It's like a disease. I've got something to offer in my work, in my love, something unique. There's just pieces showing up and dying off and I'm not around to see much of it at all. This distance is sickening to me. I'm tired of pretending everywhere I go. I'm tired of pretending it doesn't matter. As if everything I do is soluble, running to the length of the end of this city. But really, no, really I'm alive and there is something.

I'm looking to all the wrong people. I'm looking to the wrong parts of myself. It's clear that my independence can be a burden. I'm trapped inside of myself. Maybe it's time to really just let it go like all things and fall victim to the lackadaisical of everything. I hope one day it's over, for me, for everyone. At least I can say that when I write this, when I lay in my warm summer bedroom feeling like all my playacting is getting me no where then I know that there is a start for running somewhere different.

I wish I could write a poem but I can't catch that baby while my heart is full of static electricity.

bits and pieces

I stayed up last night reading the Surrealist manifesto but I don't remember any of it and will be rereading it. I got too caught up on how sexist it was and how sexist André Breton sounded in other contexts. I got so caught up in it that I barely remember what when I had read something else he had said or done that was sexist. My mind is running a million miles a minute.

I find it fascinating that the revolutionary, that still seems revolutionary today, always has its downfalls that turn and make me wonder if that was considered revolutionary I wonder what would actually have been revolutionary at the time. But then again, everything that is always considered revolutionary to my American brain is only scattered with white males to the majority of the extents of my perception of all of it.

So much that is revolutionary is only a piece of what could be hugely revolutionary, beyond all scales. But only small steps, I guess.

Speaking of perception, I have come to the conclusion the past few days that expecting much out of anyone is never a good idea. I have learned my lesson enough times to expect nothing at all. It's really sad that none of us can live in a world where people are honest enough not to cause one another so much strife that it's unimaginable, but that is the kind of world we live in now. I have mentioned this several times on this blog before. Maybe the world has always been this way and I was just naive enough to think that it would be different for me. But it isn't. I think that it's time for a new pair of glasses, metaphorical glasses. The only time in my life I had real glasses they were stolen by a person who didn't like me at the time.

I am learning to accept that people have their games, and even myself. I'm too introverted to be any different. Some are unkind and negatively manipulative and those are the games that I find the most entertaining to me. They are entertaining in a way that I think may be unhealthy, or not normal. I guess I can't help but wish I could have seen through these things earlier in life when I was more naive and got myself into more trouble than anything positive. Things are changing these days on that level, but it has taken too long. In many ways I have become a reflection for them, a mirror image of a person they do not like. In reality, it's just them. Life has been so strange to me in this way.

At night we morph into able-bodied creatures. 
Lioness, the woman, substitutes your scum with a gas mask.
 We’re just force-feeding each other into the sleep tones of Agnes in society sitting on the stoop
 of life’s hurdles, eating blueberry mush on a paper plate.


Sedna houses no moon but instead a place where I imagine the mattress 
laying in the middle of 10,000 years until a full rotation 
and a little bit of astro-dust, fine ash that really likes our nasal cavities.

Thanks to magazines I now taste like pineapple and you like me better. 
I forgot to eat cookies because Sedna only wants skinny girls, not women
girls with desert rose painted toes and a bottle of bishop’s blood and pepper.


What a crazy night! I swear we morphed so fast the nanoseconds had little on us.
 They just laughed and counted the time it took for Agyness, scared, to eat her 
blueberry crisp mush. Old or skinny, old or skinny.


So if I could endure another force-fed moment please stop me
 or else I will haunt you in your sleep and I really will. You will dream about my slinking, lioness tail. No lie
, I can enter the dreaming bloodstream or through various orifices
, in particular the ear, so I can blow on your drums.


At night we morph into able-bodied creatures 
and somehow form a figure-eight model of the continuation of
 earth’s sweet goodness on a concrete floor, sucked dry of humility.

Our Last Bluster

I saw autumn at night
and remembered the settled
feeling in my chest like a mild cold
and spending days in bed
in a room surrounded by windows
as the sun wanes
for death. It's lighter there,
and after all is said and done,
who said we need to breathe
from our lungs
for our cold, hard pieces
of the past holed up
in a medicine cabinet.
Whatever I said to you,
whatever I said, was meant
to be swept through
the cabinet, into a foreground,
into something hanging
there like a lone star in the city sky.

Expanded US Military Operations Include Intel for Potential Iran Attack

The US has authorized a major expansion of clandestine military operations abroad that includes intelligence gathering for a possible attack on Iran. According to the New York Times, the top US commander in the Middle East, General David Petraeus, issued a secret directive in September broadening the role of Special Operations forces throughout the Middle East, Central Asia and the Horn of Africa. The Joint Unconventional Warfare Task Force Execute Order calls for intelligence gathering and building ties with local forces to counter militant groups opposed to the United States. It also allows intelligence missions in Iran that could pave the way for US military strikes. The authorized Iran operations include finding dissident groups that could support a potential US attack. The New York Times says it withheld details on how US troops would be deployed in some countries at the request of the Pentagon.