blushes

Well, I hate to say it but sometimes the "truth" (or whatever bits and pieces of it you can get anymore) ain't pretty. And sometimes, it is. Those moments are just about as equally fascinating as those that aren't.

I have little to no interest in doing things that "should" make me happy anymore. I'm tired of taking the lazy way out and trying to figure out what is wrong with me instead of just doing what I would rather be doing. There is no route that makes me happy that anyone else has thought of as a more reasonable one than me choosing something without any fixed start middle or end. I have no interest in distractions. I have no interest in pretending. I have no interest in thinking that every bit of self awareness I have developed over the past few years is actually a negative result of anything at all. Actually, no. I'd be wasting my time thinking otherwise.

So really, the truth of all my mistakes is actually enlightening. And the fact that I admitted it to myself is even better. Now I can move on and learn from it instead of twiddling my toes in passive aggressive behavior and other not-so-endearing ways of expressing repressed feelings, traits and desires. No thanks.

I say life is too short not to have fun. Life is also too short to take that fun and make it not so fun anymore. Life is too short to pretend you're having fun when you're actually starving yourself. (talk to yerself, goofball grumblerhead)